Blog
(notes from an otherwise fairly ordinary bisexual man during Bi-Visibility Month) Most mornings, I don’t wake up thinking about being bisexual. I wake up thinking about whether I have enough time for coffee, about my work for the day, my patients, maybe some unfinished blog post, about whether I should go to the gym today or successfully negotiate with myself for another rest...
on loving our parents, surviving them, understanding them — and eventually finding them inside ourselves This morning, after a week-long visit to my place, I saw Mom off on her train back home to Asansol. Yesterday had been her birthday — a quaint, extremely personal celebration that began with puja at Dakshineshwar, followed by a little shopping, a small cake-cutting at home, and...
(on men, women, attraction, and discovering that my heart speaks more than one language.) “So… are you more attracted to men or women?” It’s a question I’ve been asked more times than I can count. Whether from friends, dates, or even strangers who are only just getting to know me And every single time, I disappoint them with exactly the same answer –...
a conversation on Bisexuality, stereotypes, and privilege and the illusion of choice. “But you’re bisexual so you can be with girls as well!!! For you it’s pretty easy, I would say at least you have that option!” — he texted. We were still in the process of getting to know each other after a few days of matching on a dating app. I smiled at that text, not because I agreed...
On love, letting go, and why moving on doesn’t always require us to stop loving. “Mujhe lagta hai, we can’t unlove someone we’ve deeply loved once.”— Preeti, Musafir Cafe As the scene played out on my TV screen, I paused to make a note Not because the thought was particularly new to me. Rather, the opposite. I had written almost exactly the same thing more than a year ago. On 5th...
on ageing, growing up, and finding love in the mundane. “Bhalo hoyeche!! But toke aging queer bole dilo re!!! I always thought you were young. Ki shob bolche era!!” I laughed when I read Mona’s texts. She has been a very dear friend, colleague and support system since 2009 and I had just sent her the video of my recent BBC News Bangla interview on queer ageing, and while she was happy about...
on Growing Older, Chosen Responsibilities, and Why Love isn’t a Competition. A funny thing happened yesterday when an old WhatsApp group from our MDS days suddenly came back to life after years of silence! It was just a group of three of us – Deep, Anika and me. Deep had just become the father of twins while Anika was already carrying her second one, after giving birth to a lovely boy...
So… you want to date me? Or perhaps you’ve simply stumbled onto this page after matching with me and are wondering whether I’m worth asking out for coffee. Or perhaps I’ve sent you this link because I’d quite like to take you out on a date! I believe, every meaningful relationship begins with a conversation. And unfortunately, dating apps have reduced those...
On 22nd November 2025, at the Shaam-e-Baazgasht Kolkata edition, a dear friend and neighbour from the audience affectionately introduced me by saying, “He is a very passionate animal lover.” That evening, it felt heartfelt. Warm, even. But over the last few weeks, I have slowly started hating this term — animal lover. Especially because I have increasingly seen it being used by people who have a...