Chapter 4: Static

Monday morning arrived wrapped in grey clouds and humidity.

The cultural fest committee room smelled faintly of damp paper and stale coffee. Representatives from different colleges occupied scattered chairs while volunteers sorted certificates and reimbursement forms into messy piles.

Kuldeep entered quietly with a file tucked under his arm, and stopped seeing Utsav already there, sitting backwards on a chair near the window, lazily spinning a drumstick between his fingers while arguing with someone over sponsorship banners. “Of course,” Kuldeep whispered to himself, as he overheard Utsav arguing with some committee member, “No, because if the ortho company sponsors the event, their logo goes centre-stage. That was the deal.”

“Bro that looks ugly on the backdrop—”

“Ugly pays for your sound system.” Utsav dropped the words casually cutting the committee member mid-sentence. A few students laughed as Utsav looked up mid-sentence to find Kuldeep walk into the room.

Their eyes met briefly and suddenly the atmosphere shifted in the room. Neither of them smiled, nor did any one of them look away first.

A volunteer walked in with a folder and whispered awkwardly, “Uh… you both need to collect the rest of your certificates. Just sign here.”

There was a pause before both Utsav and Kuldeep simultaneously said, “You go first…”

Another silence. The volunteer looked terrified, clearly expecting a repeat of the music competition fiasco.

Utsav leaned back finally, “Ladies first.” A few nearby students cracked up laughing.

Kuldeep stared at him flatly with disgust, “Not funny. We’re all doctors here. Behave like one.”

Utsav’s mouth twitched despite himself. He realised his mistake, but it wasn’t like him to apologise, and definitely not in public. The volunteer practically shoved the forms at Kuldeep to prevent another war. As Kuldeep signed, Utsav watched him quietly for the first time without stage lights or crowds, or his juniors swooning around him for selfies.

His fingers were stained with paint. A silver ring in the index finger. His eyes looked tired, yet emotive. And his handwriting, strangely delicate yet immaculate. Something that was not at all expected from someone who fought like that.

Kuldeep finished signing and slid the papers forward. He paused for a moment before looking up at Utsav and very softly said, “You should tell your friends not to use words they don’t understand.”

The room went still once again. But this time Utsav didn’t react defensively, or with sarcasm. He just nodded once, reluctantly. And somehow that felt more dangerous than another argument.

The next few days saw the campus settle to its normal rhythm. The annual “Battle of Bands” announcements arrived two weeks later. It was an open competition hosted by a music studio in Belagavi. Bands from different colleges and even independent band performers participated in it. Some even from outside the city.

And suddenly, the whole BAHER university campus transformed into organized chaos again. Posters flooded corridors of all the colleges in the campus. Auditions stretched late into evenings. Music room bookings became impossible. Common rooms were also taken up for preparations.  Everywhere people were only curious about one thing: “What is Scintillating Euphoria performing this year.”

The band had become somewhat legendary over the past few years. Especially after their win last year, that swept the audience off their feet with their loud, attractive and unapologetically dramatic performances. And undeniably Utsav was its face.

By evening, the old auditorium rehearsal room vibrated with distorted guitar riffs and arguments over setlists.

“No Coldplay,” Sahil declared.

“Why?” asked Atharv

“Because every engineering band in India already massacres Coldplay.” Snorted Sahil from behind the drums. “We need something explosive.”

“We need something that wins.” added Utsav without even looking up, sitting on top of an amplifier tuning his guitar absently while the others argued around him. His attention kept drifting…

…towards a completely different building across campus.

The dental college cafeteria was quieter than the medical one. Less chaotic, dimly lit, more exhausted. Kuldeep sat near the window scrolling through Dental Pulse questions while absentmindedly stirring cold coffee. He looked up only when someone dropped heavily into the chair opposite him.

Kuldeep sighed instantly as he was startled into looking up. It was Utsav… Again!

“Do medical students not have their own cafeteria?” Kuldeep asked with annoyance dripping from his voice,

“Coffee there tastes like chemical warfare.” smirked Utsav.

“And this one?”

“Marginally less toxic.”

Kuldeep returned to his notes, as Utsav watched him for a moment before trying to reopen the conversation, “You always study while eating?”

“You always disturb people while they’re studying?”

“Only interesting people.”

Kuldeep finally looked up again, and sarcastically said with the left eyebrow raised, “That explains why you’re alone.” 

For half a second Utsav looked offended, but then he burst out laughing. A few students nearby turned to stare. Kuldeep hated how unexpectedly warm that laugh sounded. He immediately looked back down at his notes.

Utsav noticed a hint of smile even from within the annoyance on Kuldeep’s face, but he decided not to push his luck.

The encounters kept happening after that at an annoyingly frequent rate. Library corridors, canteens, outside some restaurant, near the tea stall between the campuses.

Always accidental… Always irritating… Always uncannily memorable…

One evening Kuldeep entered the digital library section carrying three books against his chest and nearly collided with Utsav near the doorway.

“Oh wow,” Utsav muttered dramatically. “You do exist outside dim lighting and emotional songs.”

Kuldeep adjusted the books calmly, “And you exist with full sleeves. Miracles do happen afterall!”

Utsav looked down at his black compression gym tee, looked up and winked. “Jealous?”

“Of pneumonia? No!” Kuldeep forced a fake smile

“Cute.” smirked Utsav.

Kuldeep blinked slowly, “Was that your attempt at flirting or concussion?”

Utsav stared at him for a moment and then burst into a laugh.

That laugh was becoming a problem…

For both of them.

Neither of the boys noticed how often they spoke about each other now. The band heard Utsav complain constantly about “the dental guy”.

-“That guy speaks like every sentence is a court judgment.”

-“Why does he always look mildly disappointed in humanity?”

-“Who studies during lunch break?”

Meanwhile Aditya was the one who had to endure Kuldeep’s incessant annoyance for Utsav.

-“He’s intolerably loud.”

-“He behaves like the entire college is his living room.”

-“He grins before insulting people. It’s psychologically disturbing. And what’s with that laugh!”

Aditya eventually asked dryly, “So… are you both dating or planning murder?”

Kuldeep threw a paper ball at him, “Dhyattt!”

Battle of Bands selections were a couple of weeks away, the library remained crowded long after sunset, and the campus perpetually chaotic. Rain tapped softly against the windows while students occupied entire tables with notes and energy drinks. Kuldeep sat in his usual corner surrounded by oral surgery textbooks, scribbling absentmindedly in his journal between MCQ revisions.

A few verses of poetry that might occur to him, fragmented thoughts, random doodles. Things that would unwind his constantly cluttered mind. 

At some point Aditya arrived breathless beside him, “Sir! The head librarian is looking for you downstairs.”

Kuldeep frowned, “About what?”

“I don’t know, he just said something that’s apparently urgent.”

Muttering under his breath, Kuldeep shoved his notes together hurriedly and stood, “Watch my books.”

Aditya nodded while still typing into his phone, as Kuldeep left quickly. A few minutes later Aditya got called away too. For the next several minutes the table with Kuldeep’s books and notes remained abandoned.

Nearly forty minutes passed before Utsav wandered into the library looking aggressively sleep-deprived from band practice which was now stretching into the wee hours of the night. His ears still rang faintly from drum rehearsals. He scanned the room lazily for an empty chair and froze when a familiar handwriting appeared on a notebook with notes on mandibular nerve. He drifted towards the book and uncontrollably flipped through the pages – oral surgery notes, space infections, facial nerve, Bell’s palsy… with diagrams of nerve pathways that appeared to be printed on textbooks.

Utsav smiled to himself and casually closed the notebook when suddenly his scanning eyes fixated on the edge of the table – a worn black journal. Utsav recognized it immediately. He had seen Kuldeep writing in it before. Something about the object itself felt strangely intimate.

He should’ve ignored it, instead, he picked it up. Just to move it safely aside. That’s all. That’s what he was telling himself. The black suede cover was softer than expected. Edges worn from years of use. He couldn’t help but flip through the pages…

A rough unfinished sketch, random lyrics, fragments of thoughts dated and journalled…

They appeared like loneliness pressed quietly between words. And none of those words, those sketches sounded like the sharp-tongued sarcastic version of Kuldeep he had seen. A page slipped open accidentally. His eyes fell on the handwriting before he could stop himself.

Some people perform because they are afraid of silence.

Some people are silent because life feels like performance.

The lines felt… unguarded… real! And suddenly reading further felt dangerously personal yet tempting! Like he wanted to see and access this world of Kuldeep’s more closely, even though it felt wrong at all levels. He shut the journal immediately.

His chest felt strange, his breath heavy… full of guilt mixed with curiosity. Like something else, some feeling in his heart, that he didn’t want to examine too closely.

Before he could ponder any longer, a familiar voice said, “Bro?”

Utsav looked up sharply. Atharv stood near the shelves holding two Red Bulls, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Utsav flustered. Atharv glanced toward the journal and said, “Oho… Secret diary? Kaunse ladki se uthaya hai, bhai?”

“Shut up.” Utsav shoved it casually into his backpack before Atharv could grab it, and changed the topic, “Band room?”

“Yeah.” Atharv agreed and let go of the conversation. Utsav had a mighty fan following among the girls. So, it wasn’t uncommon for him to receive letters, journals and gifts once every now and then. They walked out together.

Only halfway down the corridor did Utsav realize something, He was in possession of Kuldeep’s journal and somehow now he had no way to go back and return it. 

Much later that night, Kuldeep stood near the library help desk trying unsuccessfully to keep panic out of his voice, “You’re sure nobody submitted a black notebook?”

The librarian adjusted her glasses. “No.”

Kuldeep’s stomach dropped. His palms felt clammy. His journal was gone.

to be continued…